Tournament of Life

By Jerry Mack Grubbs

On three occasions I have had a friend go the extra mile as he endeavored to introduce me into an activity in which I had little previous interest. Definition of going the extra mile means gifting me all the necessary equipment to properly participate in the activity. On each of those occasions I evaluated the friend, not the gift, and decided if I truly wanted to spend additional time with that person. There is an old saying, "If you are with someone whose company you truly enjoy, the activity you share becomes secondary, but if you find limited enjoyment in their company, you better really enjoy the activity."

The first experience came from a former employer who was convinced that I would find as much enjoyment in the game of golf as he had derived. I repeatedly declined his invitations to play. One day as I entered my office I found a set of new golf clubs, carrying bag and golf shoes sitting on my desk. Along with this gift was a certificate for golf lessons at Uintah Golf. My construction company had built the Uintah Golf store the previous year and I knew the owner very well. I visited with Gordon, the store owner and asked him what was so exciting about trying to get a ball into a hole. He said, "The game of golf has little to do with getting the ball in the hole and a lot to do with who you spend your time with." I don't know if that statement describes most golfers but it made a lot of sense to me. I gave Gordon the certificate for golf lessons and suggested he share it with someone who desired to learn the game. I had made a decision that my former employer wasn't someone whose company I enjoyed enough to spend additional time with, golfing or otherwise.

Hopefully, I'm not viewed as placing myself above my former employer. He is a good man. He placed trust in me through the years and provided me with opportunities. He even chose me over his own grandson when the chips were on the table. His wiry twenty-two year old grandson Bill thought he didn't have to take orders from anyone in the company except his grandfather and demonstrated that attitude by throwing a punch at me on a construction site. At the conclusion of the altercation I fired him and ejected him from the property. When complaining to his grandfather that I fought dirty he simply answered by saying, "You might not be able to trust that Texan to fight clean but you can trust that you are fired. Better start looking for a job somewhere else." The subject was never brought up again. Years later his grandson and I went to lunch together and laughed about the incident. But his grandfather wasn't someone who I wanted to spend more time with other than occasionally sharing a lunch or brief visit. The golf clubs are probably in one of my son's garages or at the hangar. I have lost track of them.

I see my former employer Clayton Mills only rarely. I visit him during the Christmas season and call him occasionally. He still enjoys the game of golf a couple of times a week when the weather permits. He watches the tournaments and tries to emulate the swing of his favorite players. I'm watching a tournament also but it is a different tournament. My desire is to not only watch and learn from the tournament of life but to also contribute. There is a time to give and a time to receive. There is a time to learn and a time to teach. The man who has not learned should not teach. When I am making a decision whether or not to commit a significant amount of time in an activity with a friend, I ask myself, will I be a better person or will I have made a difference in that friend's life from the time spent together.

I was going to share my other two experiences of friends aggressively encouraging me to enter into activities with them. But I have taken enough of your time. Maybe some other day I will tell you about hunting big game and fly fishing. But more importantly I hope to be able to share with you what I learned from those who introduced me to those activities.